


pieces of your heart

by asael



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Established Relationship, M/M, Past Adam/Blue - Freeform, Pre-Canon, Pynchweek 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-08 13:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11647287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asael/pseuds/asael
Summary: A slapdash collection of fic for Pynchweek 2017. 1 - Something old, something new. 2 - Superhero AU. 3 - what are you doing here? 4 - college. 5 - dreamscape. 6 - elements.





	1. something old, something new

**Author's Note:**

> Since most of these fics are pretty short, I figured it made more sense to post them like this, as a multipart collected fic, though of course there's no real connection between any two parts. I had fun taking a break from the longer stuff I'm working on and writing some short, sweet pieces! Hopefully you'll like them also. :) I'll update tags and warnings if necessary.

The cow was sleeping still, a quiet lump in the tall grass. Adam knew where most of them were now, hidden in the barns and dotted across the fields. They’d fallen asleep where they were standing when Niall died, and none had moved since.

Adam, practical Adam, sometimes thought about all the things that could have happened to these dream cattle. Predators come hunting, finding an easy meal. Weather wearing away at a living creature. A stray shot from a hunter. But here at the Barns they were perfectly safe, sleeping their lives away, unaffected by hunger or rain or the passage of time.

He’d stumbled across a few while exploring the Barns on his own this summer. Ronan had shown him more, and then Adam had made a project of finding them all. He mapped their locations, drawing a careful layout of the structures and fields. Ronan had scoffed at it, but Adam had seen him perusing the map a couple nights later, a wrinkle between his brows.

There were other sleeping creatures besides the cows, Adam knew, but that was a project for another time. Next summer, maybe, and when he thought of that he still got an uncertain thrill. _Next summer_ , like he was planning for the future, a future spent with Ronan. A future laid out before the both of them.

They hadn’t really talked about it, but both of them knew. Adam would go, but he’d come back. Ever since he’d left St. Agnes, when school ended and he graduated and he moved to the Barns for the summer, they’d known. 

Adam pressed a hand against the cow’s side, feeling its slow breaths. By the time next summer rolled around, maybe his map would be obsolete. Maybe this cow would be up and walking about, blinking its big cow eyes, eating up all the grass. Or whatever dream cows ate.

He heard a soft step behind him. The softness of it, barely a rustle of grass, told him it wasn’t Ronan. Ronan could be quiet when he wanted to - when Adam was asleep on the sofa after a long day of work, when Ronan couldn’t sleep and he slipped out of bed in the middle of the night, or sometimes when Ronan was being an asshole and wanted to sneak up on him - but he usually didn’t want to.

So Opal then, Adam thought, but it wasn’t her when he turned. It was a slender, pale deer instead. Not the dream stag who Adam sometimes watched through the trees, but a doe, delicate and unearthly. Another dream, Adam was sure of it.

Sometimes Ronan’s dreams were nearly impossible to distinguish from reality, but most of the time Adam could tell. It amazed him still, the sort of things that could come out of Ronan’s head, the fanciful and improbable nature of them. The doe looked almost like she could be a real deer, one that hadn’t been pulled from a dream, but her eyes - her eyes were fields of stars, infinite and encompassing.

It was hard to look away from her unafraid gaze. Adam could fall into those eyes.

He moved carefully, afraid to startle her. In the last few weeks, Adam had found that if he was cautious and slow, he could coax some of the deer - dream or real - to eat oats he’d sprinkled on the grass. He’d taken to bringing a fistful or two when he went out exploring, just in case. Ronan teased him for it, teased him that the deer he’d dreamed liked Adam even more than him now, but after everything they’d shared Adam wasn’t sure it was entirely teasing.

Ronan’s dream things loved him. It had been impossible to understand at first, for a boy so unused to love, and even a little embarrassing. He still wasn’t used to it, but now Adam could see it as the gift it was.

If anything, _Ronan_ was the one who should be embarrassed, as Adam had finally pointed out to Ronan’s great consternation. They were his dreams, after all.

He’d been incredibly pleased by the shade of pink Ronan’s ears had gone. The scowl he’d been graced with had been even better, and he’d soothed away Ronan’s angry embarrassment later that night in a way that had pleased them both.

He liberated a handful of oats from his pocket and held them out, still moving slowly so as not to startle the deer. She didn’t seem easily startled, but Adam was always careful.

She eyed him for a moment, quiet and interested, and then bent down to lip up the oats, leaving Adam with a palmful of deer spit. He smiled and reached for more.

She finished off the rest of the oats and let Adam pet her, running thin fingers over her silky-soft fur. It felt like Ronan’s hair just after he’d shaved, which was probably not a coincidence. She knelt in the grass and pressed her side to Adam’s leg, and he knelt too, letting the calm quiet of the Barns soothe him, letting her affection remind him of his eternal welcome here.

The sun was warm, the day was easy, and when Ronan made his way from the house to search for his missing boyfriend, he found Adam nestled between an old dream and a new, all three of them sleeping in calm contentment.

He watched for a moment, letting himself fall disgustingly in love again, and then he woke both Adam and the deer as loudly and annoyingly as he could, until the deer trotted off in irritation and Adam wrestled with him in the grass in a perfect tangle of legs and tickling fingers and laughter.


	2. capes and masks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 - Superhero AU. "Ronan deals with it as he deals with most things: poorly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My problem with AUs is that I always want to get really into world-building and then they get away from me. I restrained myself.

“It’ll be brilliant,” Gansey says, “just think of all the people we could help.” Noble ideals, nobler actions - typical for Gansey, but Ronan knows even at the time that it isn’t only that. It’s a way to distract him as well, a way to put his strange and uncanny talents to use. A way to keep him out of trouble, keep him from veering down the dark path both Gansey and Declan fear is tempting him.

But he agrees, because there’s no reason not to and because Gansey looks so excited. Ronan has never seen himself as the hero sort, and flatly refuses any of the more ridiculous trappings Gansey suggests, but the rest of it - well, the rest of it turns out to be more fun than he expected.

It’s a socially acceptable outlet for his anger, a way to put his strange power to use, and frankly it’s just fun to punch assholes in the face and get away with it. It doesn’t solve all of Ronan’s problems - he still drinks too much, drives too fast, doesn’t know what or who he is. But damn, is it a good distraction.

They make it in the news a few times, or Ronan does. Gansey is delighted by the effusive praise from people Ronan has saved and decides it’s all worthwhile. He does more research, finds more people with abilities like Ronan’s. 

Gansey’s always loved that, ever since they were dumb teenagers and Ronan finally came clean about his power. He was fascinated by it, by the impossibility of it. It was only a few years later that anyone else began to show up with strange powers - Gansey’s theory being that they take time to develop and Ronan’s were jump-started by the brutal death of his father.

Gansey never developed powers of his own, but that doesn’t seem to bother him. He’s content researching, learning, and eventually collecting people with them. He doesn’t like it when Ronan says it like that, but from where Ronan’s standing it sure looks like the truth.

Ronan’s the first, of course. His strange dream-powers don’t seem like an ideal fit for a superhero, or whatever Gansey wants him to be, but as Ronan gains more control over his powers it becomes more and more possible for him to create things that will help. A silent gun that instantly stuns someone, a grappling hook that sticks to any surface, gloves that shatter bone. Gansey doesn’t like the more violent creations, but they have their uses. Ronan’s never been the subtle type anyway.

They go it alone for awhile, but then Gansey finds a skinny, pale boy who can become intangible, and Noah joins them. Noah is much better at subtlety, and his cheerful and friendly nature balances them out better than Ronan would have expected. Not long after that comes Henry Cheng, the boy who can control bees - which meets with a flat refusal from Ronan, all things considered, until Gansey firmly points out that if he can _control_ bees, that means Gansey is perfectly safe around him.

Ronan is not so sure of this, but Gansey has made up his mind. And it’s really his team, in the end, he’s the one finding problems for them to deal with and funding everything and acting as a leader, powers or not.

At first it’s street crime, but as more people begin to discover their powers, Gansey finds that their skills are far more useful set against people who use their powers to hurt others. That feels better to Ronan, too - he doesn’t much care about bank robbers, but shitheads who abuse mind control? He’s more than happy to break their faces. Things heat up, everything gets more exciting. 

Then Gansey finds Adam Parrish. And not just Adam Parrish - which is the problem, really. Because along with Adam Parrish comes Blue Sargent. They’re a package deal, found in some small town where their powers manifested not long after they started dating, according to Gansey, who thinks they set each other’s powers off.

None of that would matter either, except Ronan is ridiculously, stupidly attracted to Adam Parrish from the moment they meet. And he’s part of a package. With Blue.

Ronan doesn’t have a chance.

He deals with it as he deals with most things: poorly. Luckily, though Gansey can tell something in particular is wrong, no one else knows Ronan well enough to catch on. They either think he’s just in a particularly bad mood (Noah, Henry) or that he’s always like this (Adam, Blue).

He watches them together, watches the way Blue unselfconsciously touches Adam’s arm, the way they exchange looks. It’s disgusting. He tries not to watch. He tries to avoid them both. He can’t do that forever, but he figures his attraction will fade - soon he’ll be able to look Adam Parrish in the face without needing to remind himself _this is off-limits_.

It doesn’t work that way, in the end. Gansey sends them on a mission instead, or he tries to. Ronan insists he can do it on his own, he doesn’t have the fortitude for working alongside Adam right now - maybe later, maybe eventually, but right now he just can’t do it. He’s never felt such a visceral attraction to someone, and it’s distracting and infuriating. He leaves before Gansey can say anything, trying not to see the expression on Adam’s face as he does. It’s anger, or maybe hurt, or maybe just confusion.

Maybe Ronan will feel better once he’s punched a few people. He usually does.

Only, of course, he’s outnumbered. It’s trio of dumbasses with powers, using them to commit petty burglaries, and it should have been easy. Ronan takes out the first two fast enough - a kid who shoots sprays of light and another who can turn his hands into actual weapons, like chainsaws and shit, which is awesome but easy to handle.

He doesn’t see the third one until there’s a gun pointed at his head. Invisibility. Fuck.

The guy’s on something, clearly tweaking out, finger shaky on the trigger, eyes wide and bloodshot. “Fuck you,” he says, and his finger tightens on the trigger but vines twine around his wrist and tug upwards, sending the bullet into the ceiling. There are vines around his legs too, holding him in place, quickly crawling around the rest of him. It’s more than enough to keep him still, but Ronan punches him in the face anyway.

He turns to see Adam, of course, standing in the doorway. His hand is pressed to the wall, tendrils of green snaking out of cracks there. Plant manipulation, Gansey said, but this is the first time Ronan has actually seen it. It’s sort of eerie - not that Ronan can say shit about being eerie.

He should say thank you, but he scowls instead. Adam is surprised only for a moment before he settles into an answering scowl, and Ronan hates the thrill he feels at that, at the reminder that Adam isn’t afraid of him and won’t take his shit. That shouldn’t be his type.

“What the hell is your problem, Lynch?” Adam snaps. He crosses the room to check the three wannabe thugs - all unconscious, two from one of Ronan’s dream gadgets and one from good old blunt force trauma. “What did I do to you?”

Ronan doesn’t really know what to say to that. He knows it’s unfair, how he’s been treating Adam. It’s not Adam’s fault that Ronan wants him, and it’s not Adam’s fault that Ronan can’t deal with it. He just can’t seem to think clearly when Adam is around. He reaches for words. “It’s fucking distracting. You and Sargent.”

“We’re both capable people, we’re both good at what we do. I just saved your ass,” Adam says, straightening from where he was kneeling next to one of the men. “And Blue could amplify your powers if you worked together. I don’t see what’s distracting about that.” His voice is frigid, and his eyes on Ronan are somehow both confused and calculating. Trying to figure him out.

Adam’s attention is satisfying but only serves to ramp Ronan up even more. “Fuck, whatever. Sure, you guys can do shit, but I don’t want to watch you and your girlfriend all over each other.”

“My _girlfriend_?” Adam says, the calculation and anger falling from his face to be replaced with pure confusion, before it clears. “We’re not dating.”

“What?” Ronan says, because he can’t say anything else. He feels unbalanced.

“I mean, we were, but we broke up ages ago.” Adam’s brow wrinkles. “I’m pretty sure she has a thing for Gansey.”

Things realign. Part of Ronan doesn’t want to believe it, part of him feels stupid for not figuring it out sooner. It’s true, Gansey said they’d been dating when their powers manifested. He’d never said they still were. But -

“She touches you a lot,” Ronan says, unable to keep the stubborn accusation out of his voice.

“Yeah, she does that. It doesn’t mean we’re dating. She’ll do it to you guys too, once you all get to know each other,” Adam sounds almost amused now, if a little fed up.

Ronan feels a faint flicker of hope, though he knows he shouldn’t. Even if Adam and Blue aren’t together now, Adam was with her before. He probably doesn’t even like guys. “I fucking hope not. I don’t want to get felt up by a midget.” 

He sees the faintest smile on Adam’s lips, and it feels like a victory. He shrugs, looks at the wall with the vines curling across it, tries to find something else to say.

“Your plant shit’s all right.” He feels like an idiot pretty much immediately, but Adam doesn’t seem angry at all anymore.

He looks at Ronan for a long moment, and Ronan feels seen in a way that he’s not used to. He wants to get angry about it, snap and stalk off, but Adam speaks just before he can.

“Want to get a drink after this?”

Ronan doesn’t know what to say, and he sees Adam’s lips curl into a real smile, something Ronan's never seen before, something incredible. It feels like victory, even if he thinks Adam might be laughing at him somewhere on the inside. “There’s a decent place by my apartment.”

Ronan feels that flicker of hope grow into a flame. “It would be pretty fucking rude to say no to the asshole who just saved me.”

Adam’s smile turns into something heart-stopping, and Ronan knows he’s in way over his head.


	3. what are you doing here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Church isn’t Adam’s thing, Ronan knows that, and he knows all the reasons why Adam would not be entirely comfortable showing up there.

“What are you doing here?” Ronan whispers under his breath. Adam is sliding into the pew next to him, leaning forward to smile down at Matthew and nod a greeting to Declan. He doesn’t mean for it to sound as confrontational as it does, but he didn’t expect to see Adam here. 

He’s asked Adam to come to church with him before. An offhanded offer, received by Adam with a look of mild discomfort. Church isn’t Adam’s thing, Ronan knows that, and he knows all the reasons why Adam would not be entirely comfortable showing up there. He didn’t have any reason to push the subject. 

But now Adam is here. Ronan can feel Adam’s calf pressed against his own.

He’s cleaned up. Ronan knows he had a shift at Boyd’s this morning, and he still smells faintly of motor oil, but there’s not a trace of it on him. He’s wearing slacks and a nice shirt, and Ronan knows how careful he is with his nice clothes. He went to an effort, and he looks nice, though Ronan privately thinks that Adam looks nicest in ratty jeans, a t-shirt, and oil stains. Or nothing at all.

Adam looks at him, and there’s a trace of amusement in his eyes. “You asked me to.”

_Yeah, but I didn’t think you would_ , is what Ronan wants to say, but this isn’t a moment for that. The priest is giving his sermon, the pews are hushed, and Declan is watching them out of the corner of his eye. So Ronan doesn’t say anything, he just lets his shoulder press against Adam’s.

When the service is over, Adam gets a bit of attention. Some of the parishioners know he lives above the church, and some of them know he’s a friend of Ronan’s, but he’s never come to a service before. Ronan’s pretty sure every Catholic grandma in the place feels the need to come over and say hello and tell him what a fine young man he is.

At least it’s a change from them doing it to Ronan.

Adam’s cautious Henrietta charm is like catnip, and Ronan can’t really blame any of them, much as he wants Adam to himself after spending half an hour with him bare inches away. So he lets them coo over Adam and he does not swoop in to perform a rescue until it’s clear that Adam is getting overwhelmed.

Then he pries the old biddies off his boyfriend and hustles them both up to Adam’s tiny apartment, ignoring Declan’s stare and Matthew’s sunny goodbye.

He turns to Adam once they’re inside, safe and sound away from curious eyes. But he doesn’t know what to say. He didn’t expect to see Adam there, but it wasn’t a bad thing. Saying ‘thanks for showing up randomly at church’ seems pretty fucking weird, though.

Adam meets his eyes. The amusement is still there, stronger now, and he smiles - the barest curve of his lips. It’s not quite the open, happy thing that comes so rarely, that makes Ronan’s heart seize in his chest, but it’s beautiful anyway.

“You come here every weekend. I just figured I might as well take the chance to see what you look like in a suit with your tie tied right.” He steps closer, reaching up to straighten the knot in Ronan’s tie, slender fingers deliberate. Part of Ronan wants to shiver at his touch. Part of him always does.

“Fuck, you’ve seen it before,” Ronan says, but he steps closer.

“Sure,” Adam says, and for a moment Ronan knows they’re both thinking of that courtroom, that awful and wonderful day. “But this time I’m allowed to touch you.”

He tugs Ronan down by his tie then, the bare inches of difference allowing him to kiss Ronan. Ronan feels it in his whole body. He kisses back like it’s the answer to his prayers. Being with Adam feels holier than a thousand prayers, even if he’d die before ever saying that aloud.

Adam pushes him toward the bed, undoing the knot in his tie now, and Ronan considers three things in quick succession.

First, they’ll have to be quiet. Half the parishioners are still out in the church parking lot.

Second, apparently Adam isn’t as uncomfortable in church as Ronan thought.

Third - and most important - suits with properly tied ties get Adam Parrish hot.

Then Ronan doesn’t consider anything else except Adam’s lips and his hands and the thin mattress beneath them.


	4. BF 511

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam works nights at the campus library. For some reason, the broody guy in the leather jacket is always there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BF 511 is one of the Library of Congress classifications - for 'affection, feelings, emotion'. All the college libraries I've worked in used LC instead of Dewey. There's your library trivia for the day.

At first, the near-constant presence of the guy in the leather jacket is a little alarming.

Adam’s shifts are all late at night, after all. The campus library is open 24 hours, for the convenience of all the students who need to cram overnight or just need a quiet place to work on a project. And he’s not the only employee there, but with multiple floors and books to be shelved, he’s often the only one in any particular section of the library. _Large_ section. There are rumors that, years ago, a student worker was murdered late at night and his body not found until almost noon the next day, because no one else ventured into that section.

Adam is fairly certain that isn’t true - or at least he couldn’t find any news articles about it - but unfortunately it’s not totally out of the realm of possibility, considering the size of the library and the skeleton crew there at night.

So when he realizes that the same guy - tall, dark, intimidating, with a leather jacket and ripped jeans and what looks like a tattoo wrapped around the back of his neck - is in the library almost every night, it’s… well, not exactly a cause for concern, but something Adam keeps an eye on. He has finely honed survival instincts, and though he knows sometimes they can be overactive, he doesn’t usually ignore them.

But nothing ever happens. He just sees the guy almost every night he works, at a table or in a study carrel or in the stacks. Adam’s alarm fades, and he gets curious instead. There are usually other students in the library at night, though the amount fluctuates depending on how close they are to exams, but there aren’t any others who seem to be there every night. 

They don’t interact or speak at all, but Adam thinks he almost catches the guy looking at him a few times. He can’t be too bothered by it - by that point he’s stealing surreptitious glances of his own from time to time.

Then, one night, the guy walks right up to Adam. He has a scowl on his face, and Adam expects something shitty to come out of his mouth, but all he says is: “I can’t find a book.”

So Adam helps him. It is, after all, his job. And in the process he gets a closer look at the constant, silent companion of his night shifts. He’s sullen and scowly, his shaved head and sharp features screaming out _do not touch_. Adam masochistically finds himself wanting to touch anyway. 

He finds the book, misshelved. Adam would maybe have expected something badass - a history of punk, maybe, or something about war. But it’s actually an art book, and when the guy flips it open to look for something, Adam sees beautiful full-color pages. He doesn’t know enough about art to have any idea who the book is about, but he admires the strange, colorful, twisty art. It’s abstract, or maybe a little dreamlike, and it’s not at all what he expected.

“What’s your name?” he says before he can stop himself. “I always see you in here.”

The guy looks up from the book. For a moment Adam thinks he might be surprised by the question, and then his piercing gaze turns into something more… what? Assessing? Adam doesn’t know. He looks back, refusing to allow it to bother him.

“Ronan,” the guy finally says, gruffly. He looks down at the book in his hands and then up at Adam. “I always see you in here too.” It’s almost accusatory.

“I work here,” Adam says, crossing his arms.

“I saw you at the student union, too. On the cash register.”

Adam hadn’t seen this guy - Ronan - there, but that wasn’t a surprise. He usually had a lunchtime shift, and the little cafe in the union that he worked at got pretty busy. Still, he finds himself oddly flattered that Ronan had noticed him there. It’s not like Adam stands out, after all.

“I work there too,” he says. He doesn’t mention that it’s job two of three, that he has an off-campus job at an auto repair shop too. Financial assistance, even as generous as his is, only helps so much when you have absolutely no parental help. There always seems to be something he needs money for that the grants and scholarships don’t cover.

“Huh,” Ronan says, and he takes his book back to his table with one last glance at Adam.

It’s a tiny, stupid interaction, but Adam thinks about it on and off for the next couple days. He wishes he could pretend it was for any other reason than that he’s incredibly attracted to Ronan, but he can’t lie to himself. It’s not often that Adam experiences that kind of instant interest, and he knows nothing can come of it - they aren’t friends, they don’t even really know each other, Ronan is probably straight.

He resolves, in the end, to appreciate Ronan as a nice bit of scenery in the library and not think any more of it.

But then, the next night he works, he changes his mind.

He’s at one of the circulation desks, working on some statistics homework since not a soul in the library seems to need to check out a book. Head bowed over his book, he doesn’t see Ronan approaching until a coffee wrapped in a cardboard sleeve is set on the desk in front of him. Then he looks up and meets deep blue eyes in a frustratingly attractive face.

Ronan breaks eye contact quickly. “Saw you in the union again today. Don’t know when you fucking sleep. Drink that.”

“I don’t know when you sleep either,” Adam says, with just a touch of sharpness. He can’t stop himself. He’s still bad at accepting gifts, having to remind himself it’s not charity. But it’s not, he doesn’t think, and he really could use the coffee, so he reaches across the desk to pull it to him with a reluctant but polite “Thank you.”

“My roommate sleeps like a normal person. I don’t. The rooms are too fucking small,” Ronan says.

Adam has to agree, and actually, it seems… well, really considerate of Ronan. If his inability to sleep at night keeps his roommate from sleeping, then it’s pretty decent of him to hang out at the library instead. 

“We’re open all night,” Adam says.

“I know,” Ronan says, and he smiles, a quick sharp flash that makes Adam’s heart beat a tiny bit faster. “Company’s better too.”

He could be talking about the books, or the general lack of people, but the way his eyes rest on Adam are saying something very different.

Suddenly, Adam feels hopeful. He smiles, and sees Ronan’s his flicker down to his lips.

“I guess I’ll see you again, then.”

“Guess so.”

Some months later, after an awkward first date and meeting Ronan’s roommate and some shared nights in Adam’s tiny bed, Ronan convinces Adam to make out with him in the stacks while he’s off-duty. It’s one of the dumber things Adam has done, and one of the most thrilling, and they almost get caught, but Adam has no regrets.


	5. long distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isn’t it natural to dream about your boyfriend? Especially when you’re apart.

At first Adam thinks it’s just a dream.

He dreams about Ronan pretty often, after all. Maybe he should be embarrassed by that - and he is, sometimes - but isn’t it natural to dream about your boyfriend? Especially when you’re apart.

College is something that Adam has been working toward for so long, and he’s happy to have finally made it, but Ronan Lynch is a wrench thrown into his plans. As happy as he is to be in college, he misses Ronan terribly, misses him in a way he’s never missed anything before. It’s not just Ronan - it’s Opal, and the Barns, and magic - but it’s Ronan who he wants more than anything.

So it’s no surprise that he dreams of Ronan. It’s more surprising that he doesn’t immediately realize it’s not a normal dream.

They’re in a meadow, grass soft beneath them, lost in long kisses and Ronan’s hands on his skin. And that’s all they’re doing, kissing, and it’s enough. More than enough. It feels like years since Adam has felt Ronan’s lips against his, though he knows in reality it’s only been a couple months. But after a summer full of Ronan, a couple months without him is an eternity.

But this - this is perfect. The sun is high above them, but the trees are close enough that they’re comfortably shaded. There’s a breeze, and the sweet scent of flowers on it. A familiar scent, something that teases Adam’s senses and soothes them at the same time.

Ronan is pressing kisses into the skin of his neck, just the way he knows Adam likes, and Adam feels his breath come faster. He slides a hand over Ronan’s head, feeling the soft short hair there. This is what he loves, the way they can be so focused on each other, even moments after pretended indifference and traded insults. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of it.

Ronan’s hands slide beneath Adam’s loose t-shirt, and he mumbles something soft against Adam’s skin, but he’s on the wrong side so Adam can’t quite make it out. It’s then that he begins to realize this isn’t a normal dream - it’s impossible and dreamlike, but still too realistic. In Adam’s actual dreams, he’d hear everything Ronan said, and it would be nonsense, but when he murmurs a quiet, “What?” Ronan pulls back to repeat it.

“I said, they must be feeding you pretty good at that nerd college.” His hand flattens against Adam’s side, and Adam flushes a little. He has put on some weight - not quite the freshman fifteen, not with all the running around he does, but still something. And he never did manage to eat properly before, but now he has a meal plan and only goes hungry when he’s too busy, instead of when he doesn’t have the pennies for groceries.

“I guess,” Adam says, because he’s embarrassed that Ronan would notice, though he’s not sure why.

“It’s probably all kale smoothies and quinoa,” Ronan says, “fucking gross,” and he leans down to tug Adam’s shirt up and kiss his stomach, the light sprinkling of hair leading down.

“I can’t believe you know what quinoa is,” Adam says, his breath growing tight again, but this is what they do sometimes, these casual words while their bodies say something entirely different, and it’s so familiar, so real.

“I live on a fucking farm, Parrish.” Ronan looks up with a sly smile, all barbs and poison over the aching devotion Adam knows is beneath. “And Sargent never shuts up about rich white people stealing the livelihood of Andean farmers, shit like that.”

Adam wants to say something else, but then Ronan’s fingers are dipping below the waistband of his jeans, and there’s nothing left to say.

When he wakes up, he knows it wasn’t just a dream. He also hopes his roommate didn’t hear any weird noises, but Carlos doesn’t say anything, so it’s probably fine. The sheets are easily cleaned.

He debates calling Ronan, but in the end just texts him.

_does it count as trespassing if you invade someone’s dreams_

He doesn’t expect an immediate reply, so when he checks his phone after his first class he’s surprised to see missed messages.

_fuck no_

_didnt know i could do that_

_must be real fuckin thirsty if even cabeswater knows you wanna get laid_

Adam knows better than to encourage Ronan, which is why he responds with only silence, which he hopes Ronan perceives as icy superiority but knows will be taken as embarrassment instead. Which isn’t wrong.

He doesn’t know how this works, exactly. He isn’t the magician anymore, but he still feels power intermittently - ley lines, leaves in his vision. Nothing he can depend on, nothing steady or overwhelming, but magic nonetheless. He used to be able to scry into Cabeswater, into Ronan’s dreams, but he hasn’t tried since everything happened.

And now this, which is something else entirely. A blessing he didn’t even know to ask for.

All he can do, in the end, is send Ronan one final text.

_see you tonight_


	6. advanced chemistry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 - elements. A short scene before the events of the books.

“Why are you even taking chemistry?” Adam asks, exasperated. He’s got his arms crossed, long fingers tapping, and his eyes are bright with annoyance. It makes them look bluer, somehow, and Ronan allows himself to appreciate that for a moment before he turns his scowl on Adam.

“Fuck, why do you think? I figured we’d get to blow stuff up?”

Adam rolls his eyes, eloquent in a way that Ronan finds both irritating and entertaining. More entertaining when it’s not directed at him, and he’s seen that exact expression after Gansey has said something particularly clueless. Often, then, it _is_ directed at him in a sort of ‘he was _your_ friend first’ way, or a kind of commiseration. 

This time it’s all on Ronan. He doesn’t let it bother him.

“Look, you’re never going to blow anything up if you don’t even know the periodic table.” Adam flips open the book in front of him and turns it to face Ronan. The inside cover is printed with the aforementioned table. Ronan barely glances at it.

“I’m not memorizing that,” he says, with absolute disdain. Adam’s lips thin. Ronan watches this with interest, until he stops himself.

“You don’t have to memorize it. Just learn to read it, so you understand how it works.” Adam taps his finger against the page. “Even you should be capable of that.”

Ronan sneers, feeling anger course through him. Of course he’s fucking capable. He just doesn’t _care_. This is all pointless, completely useless and a huge waste of his time. This. Chemistry, Aglionby, school in general.

He almost says that. He almost explodes in Adam’s face, as he’s done plenty of times before, times when Adam was trying to help him get his grades up or finish an assignment or one of twenty other things that will help him cling to Aglionby with the tips of his nails. But half the time Ronan doesn’t want to, and the other half he’s only doing it for Gansey.

And Adam.

Who, just then, turns away to hide a yawn.

He’s not bored. He’s angry. Ronan knows this. He knows that Adam had a shift the night before that ended at 1 in the morning, that he had another in the morning that started at 6, that he’s working again tonight. That he doesn’t get enough sleep, and for some unknowable reason he’s here, wasting time trying to get Ronan to pay attention to schoolwork even though both of them know that’s a losing battle.

It’s not for Ronan’s sake. He knows that, too. It’s for Gansey’s, because he’s always worried about Ronan. Adam can barely stand him, and it was only recently that Ronan was able to stomach Adam’s presence in their lives. It’s not for Ronan that Adam is doing this.

But he’s still doing it.

Ronan doesn’t know why he cares. He shouldn’t give a shit. Adam is wasting his time, annoying both of them, he should be at home catching an hour or two of sleep. Instead he’s here, getting under Ronan’s skin.

“Fine,” he bites out, and even he wouldn’t be able to put his finger exactly on why. Adam’s tired eyes, his slender fingers, the bruises barely hidden under the collar of his shirt.

He doesn’t know. It’s fucking stupid.

He grabs the book, pulls it toward him, and something in the set of Adam’s shoulders eases. Adam leans in over the book. He smells like cheap soap and motor oil. Something coils deep in Ronan’s stomach.

“All right. So this is the atomic number.”

Ronan takes a breath and tries to listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure whether I'll be able to finish my fic for tomorrow in time, but if I do it'll be posted separately. Thank you guys for reading all of these! This week has been super fun!


End file.
